Today's Style Invitational released the winners of its contest to invent and name new religions. Here are my favorites:
Oxymormons: A sect of polygamous monogamists.
Church of the Guiding Light: Adherents believe that no one truly dies; those who expire will become renewed as their evil twins -- after a season or two.
Church of St. Andrew: Followers of a little-known Scottish monk who manifested stigmata in nine places on each hand; its members celebrate these 18 bloody holes by playing golf every Sunday morning.
Confusionism: The belief that death is final. No, just a temporary interruption. Maybe an abstract plane. Or something transcendental. I think.
Geek Orthodox: A sect that worships technology, but only up to the 2003 upgrades.
Jews for Allah: A group even more conflicted than Jews for Jesus.
Lowest Common Denominationalism: The religion that lets you get away with the most stuff without going to Hell.
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